I had a bunch of bad experiences with people I met last year. I was lucky to make a lot of friends, but I also made a lot of "people who I'm glad they're out of my life", I wouldn't call them enemies, because I wish no harm to them and I hope they have forgotten about me too, but it's people that make me think: How lonely can you be in a new country to make friends with complete idiots? Well, really lonely.
This experiences are described with detail in my post about THE FAMOUS 180.
Well, yesterday I was thinking about the day I asked myself: Is it me? Are they right about all their comments about me? Should I worry? And after thinking it a lot, I learned two things:
- It is not worth it to hang out with a person that does efforts to tell you that you're wrong all the time, because they want to feel better about themselves and increase their really bad self-image.
- People that envy you or find you annoying will see the worst of you, but a little tiny part of what they say might be true.
The second one has shaped my life since that day, I started thinking what part of their mean comments was true, and I realized "I do complain a lot", so I started working on it. Not to make the girl that was passive-aggressive with me and cried everyday because her booty call didn't call her, and told me that if I had seld steem I would laugh it off every time someone insults me because I would know that it's not true, I need people that are smarter than a bag of hair and have higher selfsteem than a one night stand from Jersey Shore. Just because critique can help you improve, maybe there are flaws that your friends that love you can't see.
So when I was listening to Nicky Minaj (no judgement please, I think she is cool, even though her mouth is dirtier than a week old garbage can), I heard the quote "My haters are my motivators", and I thought to myself: This is so true. They motivate you to improve, and to be proud of yourself, you must be doing something good if there is people that want to know your every move and bring you down.
miércoles, 23 de febrero de 2011
jueves, 13 de enero de 2011
The story of the mushroom guy
I was inspired to write this when I read about a fellow blogger's contest for the best story of the worst date ever. Even if the contest is over I need to write this since this is a story that needs to be told for the world to enjoy and laugh sarcastically at.
I met this guy online (of course!) and after a short 1st date just to make sure the other one was not insane (he did an amazing job at hiding that), he asked me out to a restaurant.
I am going to recreate the worst parts of the date:
We should play a game about food
I said that I already had something to eat, that we should share an appetizer.
Him: Lets play a game! We should eliminate plate by plate and then the last one that remains is what we will order
Me: (look of disbelief)
Him: Come on! It'll be fun! (pointing at the menu). Which thing do you hate, so we can eliminate it first?
Me: Lets just order the vegetarian plate, please
Now we should talk about food
H: What is your favourite fruit?
M: Strawberries
H: Mine is watermelon. What is your favourite type of melon?
M: (Laughing sarcastically and playing along) It's watermelon too! What a coincidence
H: Explains the reasons why watermelon is cool and delicious
Olives are important
H: I hope you like olives, I want a girlfriend that likes olives
M: Why is that?
H: I just love olives as an appetizer. I hope you don't eat mushrooms
M: Sorry, I love them.
H: But why??? They are like a waste, like something dirty that comes from the earth
Did you want to hear about my injury?
M: ...I usually get nauseuous when I hear about blood, injuries or things like that
H: That reminds me of the time when I cut my finger to the bone, I was holding some grapes and grabbed a knife that wasn't sharp enough, etc, etc
By the way I hate gays
H: I had a gay boss before, what I didn't like is that he was always flirting with me, and sometimes, when the clients were gay he took me to gay bars to close the deal. He used me.
After all this, he sent me a message saying that he had a great time and we should do it again, because the date was too short (It was short for a reason: I had to run away). To which I answered that I didn't think we had enough chemistry (what an understatement!)
I met this guy online (of course!) and after a short 1st date just to make sure the other one was not insane (he did an amazing job at hiding that), he asked me out to a restaurant.
I am going to recreate the worst parts of the date:
We should play a game about food
I said that I already had something to eat, that we should share an appetizer.
Him: Lets play a game! We should eliminate plate by plate and then the last one that remains is what we will order
Me: (look of disbelief)
Him: Come on! It'll be fun! (pointing at the menu). Which thing do you hate, so we can eliminate it first?
Me: Lets just order the vegetarian plate, please
Now we should talk about food
H: What is your favourite fruit?
M: Strawberries
H: Mine is watermelon. What is your favourite type of melon?
M: (Laughing sarcastically and playing along) It's watermelon too! What a coincidence
H: Explains the reasons why watermelon is cool and delicious
Olives are important
H: I hope you like olives, I want a girlfriend that likes olives
M: Why is that?
H: I just love olives as an appetizer. I hope you don't eat mushrooms
M: Sorry, I love them.
H: But why??? They are like a waste, like something dirty that comes from the earth
Did you want to hear about my injury?
M: ...I usually get nauseuous when I hear about blood, injuries or things like that
H: That reminds me of the time when I cut my finger to the bone, I was holding some grapes and grabbed a knife that wasn't sharp enough, etc, etc
By the way I hate gays
H: I had a gay boss before, what I didn't like is that he was always flirting with me, and sometimes, when the clients were gay he took me to gay bars to close the deal. He used me.
After all this, he sent me a message saying that he had a great time and we should do it again, because the date was too short (It was short for a reason: I had to run away). To which I answered that I didn't think we had enough chemistry (what an understatement!)
viernes, 17 de diciembre de 2010
My version of "The Secret": Get off your butt!
A lot has been said about the power of positive thinking, I believe that to be true. Believing in yourself, your character and strenght is the first step into achieving your dreams.
But I happen to believe that the only way to be truly happy is when you are on the path towards your dreams, it seems that it's easier to complain than to actually make plans and take action, but if you spend your whole life complaining, it is safe to say that you'll never achieve anything, why? you may be able to think positive for a little bit, but when your lack of actions cause NOTHING to happen, nothing improving in the path towards your dreams, you'll loose focus and determination, and finally happiness.
Being a perfectionist and slightly obsessive person, taking action gives me peace, because I know that I'm on my way and not wasting my time, I may not arrive to my destination, but I'll be fairly close.
For example: I love writing, I started with poems and then later in life, realized that I considered my sense of humour one of my biggest qualities; in order for people to like me and enjoy my company, and then be my friends, they need to understand my sense of humour and think of it as funny, interesting and entertaining and not plain mean or demeaning (this topic is so broad it will have it's own blog, stayed tuned). And I decided I should take advantage of my sense of humour and my love for writing by....writing a blog of course. Sure, I'd love to be a best selling author, quit my day job, write and write and be famous; but for now, I'm happy with people reading my blog, enjoying my sense of humour, and sharing with people that have similar interests to mine.
I am closer to my goal of being a writer, that makes me happy. When people compliment my blog, I love it! I'm using my talent. I am taking action.
The same principle applies to anything that you enjoy in life, it is never too late to start. It might be difficult to get off your butt and start working on it, but the satisfaction is totally worth it.
So GET.OFF.YOUR.BUTT, start looking for a more rewarding job, start training for a marathon, do more charity work, loose weight, gain weight, etc, etc, etc. Even if you only accomplish 10% of your goal, just walking in that road will make you happy, the road of your dream.
But I happen to believe that the only way to be truly happy is when you are on the path towards your dreams, it seems that it's easier to complain than to actually make plans and take action, but if you spend your whole life complaining, it is safe to say that you'll never achieve anything, why? you may be able to think positive for a little bit, but when your lack of actions cause NOTHING to happen, nothing improving in the path towards your dreams, you'll loose focus and determination, and finally happiness.
Being a perfectionist and slightly obsessive person, taking action gives me peace, because I know that I'm on my way and not wasting my time, I may not arrive to my destination, but I'll be fairly close.
For example: I love writing, I started with poems and then later in life, realized that I considered my sense of humour one of my biggest qualities; in order for people to like me and enjoy my company, and then be my friends, they need to understand my sense of humour and think of it as funny, interesting and entertaining and not plain mean or demeaning (this topic is so broad it will have it's own blog, stayed tuned). And I decided I should take advantage of my sense of humour and my love for writing by....writing a blog of course. Sure, I'd love to be a best selling author, quit my day job, write and write and be famous; but for now, I'm happy with people reading my blog, enjoying my sense of humour, and sharing with people that have similar interests to mine.
I am closer to my goal of being a writer, that makes me happy. When people compliment my blog, I love it! I'm using my talent. I am taking action.
The same principle applies to anything that you enjoy in life, it is never too late to start. It might be difficult to get off your butt and start working on it, but the satisfaction is totally worth it.
So GET.OFF.YOUR.BUTT, start looking for a more rewarding job, start training for a marathon, do more charity work, loose weight, gain weight, etc, etc, etc. Even if you only accomplish 10% of your goal, just walking in that road will make you happy, the road of your dream.
miércoles, 15 de diciembre de 2010
Mean girls throw stones at each other's glass houses...13 years later
I thought that after many years of being out of high school, people had to grow old and grow up, have different priorities in their life and end up laughing about the problems that happened in high school, but it seems like that doesn't really happen. Deep down, we are the same person, the same little girl that was insecure about speaking in public (not me of course!), or the same little boy who was teased for being different and avoiding fights.
I remember the day when I ended up crying and screaming to a so-called friend. I don't remember what she said to me exactly, I just remember a series of events where she wanted to make me and my best friend feel like less than we were, less than her. And I remember what I told her: you say that you're my friend, but you're nothing but a mean girl, friends don't make you feel bad and enjoy it. I bet she forgot about this fast, her life was filled with too much drama, she was the girl whose ex-boyfriend was now with her best friend after dating both of them at the same time, it is extremely important to mention that now, 13 years later after that happened, they are close friends.
Personally, I can't have friends like that; I am no saint, I criticize people; but I live by a golden rule: If I want to say something about a friend, I'll say it to her/his face, she will know that I think that the fact that she couldn't fry an egg is funny, and that she needs to write a recipe so thoroughly that she includes the way she has to hold the knife to peel a potato. If I see a person being part of the typical movie scene, when a mean girl is with her friends and sees the outcast girl and says loudly: "I love your shirt"; just to turn around to her friends and giggle saying: "That's the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, she looks like a lazy transvestite". I hate that, and I know that after you tell me that, you'll turn around and talk about my skinny legs, or that my jeans are not from a name brand.
I got to the conclusion that mean girls are always the same, after my shy friend got engaged to one of those girls' friends. To her face, they called her cute and innocent, and asked her how much in love she was (yes, stupidest question ever), and while to her face they talked to her like she was five years old, to her back they said she was stupid and boring.
The same girls that have a lot of skeletons in their closets, and are in glass houses with thin walls: one of them hasn't had a boyfriend, only friends with benefits and guys with girlfriends, the other one dated 40 year old guys in high school, another one was the town gossip girl and the rest of her "friends" made fun of her weight and her inability to keep any secrets...etc, etc.
It seems like their modus operandi is picking one of them and make fun of her, this one girl has to take this quietly, she'll have a chance to be on the other side tomorrow, when they make fun of someone new. At least they have friends that keep them company through the years, right?
I remember the day when I ended up crying and screaming to a so-called friend. I don't remember what she said to me exactly, I just remember a series of events where she wanted to make me and my best friend feel like less than we were, less than her. And I remember what I told her: you say that you're my friend, but you're nothing but a mean girl, friends don't make you feel bad and enjoy it. I bet she forgot about this fast, her life was filled with too much drama, she was the girl whose ex-boyfriend was now with her best friend after dating both of them at the same time, it is extremely important to mention that now, 13 years later after that happened, they are close friends.
Personally, I can't have friends like that; I am no saint, I criticize people; but I live by a golden rule: If I want to say something about a friend, I'll say it to her/his face, she will know that I think that the fact that she couldn't fry an egg is funny, and that she needs to write a recipe so thoroughly that she includes the way she has to hold the knife to peel a potato. If I see a person being part of the typical movie scene, when a mean girl is with her friends and sees the outcast girl and says loudly: "I love your shirt"; just to turn around to her friends and giggle saying: "That's the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, she looks like a lazy transvestite". I hate that, and I know that after you tell me that, you'll turn around and talk about my skinny legs, or that my jeans are not from a name brand.
I got to the conclusion that mean girls are always the same, after my shy friend got engaged to one of those girls' friends. To her face, they called her cute and innocent, and asked her how much in love she was (yes, stupidest question ever), and while to her face they talked to her like she was five years old, to her back they said she was stupid and boring.
The same girls that have a lot of skeletons in their closets, and are in glass houses with thin walls: one of them hasn't had a boyfriend, only friends with benefits and guys with girlfriends, the other one dated 40 year old guys in high school, another one was the town gossip girl and the rest of her "friends" made fun of her weight and her inability to keep any secrets...etc, etc.
It seems like their modus operandi is picking one of them and make fun of her, this one girl has to take this quietly, she'll have a chance to be on the other side tomorrow, when they make fun of someone new. At least they have friends that keep them company through the years, right?
martes, 7 de diciembre de 2010
"Glass half full", "glass half empty" and "my glass is half empty, cracked and filled with dirty water"
I am not the most positive person sometimes, I am indeed sarcastic, sometimes my humour is dark, and sometimes I feel the need to give me or my friends reality checks.
But I now, that in the end, everything will be alright. I think that to gain the right to complain about something more than once, you should at least be doing something about it; listening to a person complain and complain about the same thing day after day, while avoiding making a decision can be draining, and boring; how many times can you say to a person: "It'll be OK, but to get a job you need to at least apply somewhere".
It's going to be a little bit hard to meet people if you stay in your room, where your only friend is a bottle with a high percentage of alcohol; the hr department of your company of choice is not going to come knocking down your door and that needy and depressed look you have at the moment doesn't scream "sexy and available".
Life doesn't solve itself magically you know! There is a persian saying that I love: " Tie your horse and then pray that it doesn't run away".
Also after falling down, staying in the floor can be boring, and dirty...after crying, kicking and screaming, get up please! do the people around you a favour.
It is very hard to share your time and make plans to a person that likes to mop around, if you are or you try to be a positive person, this turns out to be impossible:
- You are happy when a friend is doing good, they are reminded of what they don't have: Stop talking about your boyfriend until I get one please!
- You bond over jokes, happines a hobbies, they bond over mutual tragedies: Lets get together and drink thinking about how much we miss our families and that we are poor
- If people ask how you are, you thank them and try to ask sincerilty, they take it as a personal attack: "You ask because you know they're doing bad and want to hear about it.
OK, I guess everyone has been too negative or too depressed at least once in their lives, but when I call a friend to tell them I am going to get a raise, I would like them to say: Good for you! and not: "Really? Too many good things happen to you"
But I now, that in the end, everything will be alright. I think that to gain the right to complain about something more than once, you should at least be doing something about it; listening to a person complain and complain about the same thing day after day, while avoiding making a decision can be draining, and boring; how many times can you say to a person: "It'll be OK, but to get a job you need to at least apply somewhere".
It's going to be a little bit hard to meet people if you stay in your room, where your only friend is a bottle with a high percentage of alcohol; the hr department of your company of choice is not going to come knocking down your door and that needy and depressed look you have at the moment doesn't scream "sexy and available".
Life doesn't solve itself magically you know! There is a persian saying that I love: " Tie your horse and then pray that it doesn't run away".
Also after falling down, staying in the floor can be boring, and dirty...after crying, kicking and screaming, get up please! do the people around you a favour.
It is very hard to share your time and make plans to a person that likes to mop around, if you are or you try to be a positive person, this turns out to be impossible:
- You are happy when a friend is doing good, they are reminded of what they don't have: Stop talking about your boyfriend until I get one please!
- You bond over jokes, happines a hobbies, they bond over mutual tragedies: Lets get together and drink thinking about how much we miss our families and that we are poor
- If people ask how you are, you thank them and try to ask sincerilty, they take it as a personal attack: "You ask because you know they're doing bad and want to hear about it.
OK, I guess everyone has been too negative or too depressed at least once in their lives, but when I call a friend to tell them I am going to get a raise, I would like them to say: Good for you! and not: "Really? Too many good things happen to you"
lunes, 15 de noviembre de 2010
If you're not interested, don't call me gorgeous
Why is dating so difficult??? I wanna know. And all the people with success stories tell you that you just have to stop thinking about it and love magically happens.
Guess what? I've had love, correction, loves. And my loves have a great opinion of me still, still care about me greatly, and I've even heard the phrase "the one who got away" in reference to me, and also the phrase "I'll always regret losing you".
OK, says "the great one who got away", where is my love that lasts a reasonable time?
And why do I seem to be meeting psycho after psycho?
The two latest guys have been crazy polar opposites, the first one was making plans a month in advance after the 1st date, saying that our date was super special, mentioning "love", and getting angry if I didn't answer this text messages. OK, that was sweet but psycho, and flattering but made me want to get a restraining order before I had him knocking ad my door at 2 a.m. being wet after walking in the rain (I live in an apartment building, he can't come knock on the door, phew!).
This other guy was incredible cute, sounded really interesting and when we talked he was smart and funny, too good to be true right? YES. After calling me gorgeous and a couple of adjectives more and begging me to add him to Facebook, he just dissapeared. Currently, I don't know where he is, he may be in the land of bipolar men where he has been made king, good for him.
I understand that only gold coins, and not people are liked by everyone (OK, spanish saying that might or might not translate right), but if you're not interested, it's easy $#%$#%^ stay away! Most of us girls are not stalkers and WILL NOT FOLLOW YOU (and I don't responsabilize myself for the ones that are) and we'll not cry after you if we met you yesterday and you don't call us anymore, you don't have to pretend to like us and propose one day to stop calling the other, we know you didn't die and that the truth is that you're crazy.
This is me, venting.
Guess what? I've had love, correction, loves. And my loves have a great opinion of me still, still care about me greatly, and I've even heard the phrase "the one who got away" in reference to me, and also the phrase "I'll always regret losing you".
OK, says "the great one who got away", where is my love that lasts a reasonable time?
And why do I seem to be meeting psycho after psycho?
The two latest guys have been crazy polar opposites, the first one was making plans a month in advance after the 1st date, saying that our date was super special, mentioning "love", and getting angry if I didn't answer this text messages. OK, that was sweet but psycho, and flattering but made me want to get a restraining order before I had him knocking ad my door at 2 a.m. being wet after walking in the rain (I live in an apartment building, he can't come knock on the door, phew!).
This other guy was incredible cute, sounded really interesting and when we talked he was smart and funny, too good to be true right? YES. After calling me gorgeous and a couple of adjectives more and begging me to add him to Facebook, he just dissapeared. Currently, I don't know where he is, he may be in the land of bipolar men where he has been made king, good for him.
I understand that only gold coins, and not people are liked by everyone (OK, spanish saying that might or might not translate right), but if you're not interested, it's easy $#%$#%^ stay away! Most of us girls are not stalkers and WILL NOT FOLLOW YOU (and I don't responsabilize myself for the ones that are) and we'll not cry after you if we met you yesterday and you don't call us anymore, you don't have to pretend to like us and propose one day to stop calling the other, we know you didn't die and that the truth is that you're crazy.
This is me, venting.
sábado, 13 de noviembre de 2010
About being one step away from being send to get coffee
I've been in Canada for a year and 2 months now, and I'm grateful for all the things I've accomplished.
I know is great that I got really good grades without having studied in English before, and that I got a job 2 months after graduating, and my job is in my area of expertise!
Yes, that is all really good and it sounds perfect, but when did I go to bed and wake up the next day to go to work and be a 26 year old INTERN?
Since when the more demanding task I have is taking pictures fo products and cropping them?
I don't mind the occasional stupid task, helping other people or receiving orders, but there are some moments at my work when I want to run out of the office, throw the laptop in the trash, grab some of the free food they give me there and get away.
I hate that everyone thinks they're my boss and patronize me, come one! I've been working for a couple of years now I know that I need to check my work, I know that I need to bring all my equipment and charge my laptop before and I know that tasks should be done carefully.
Last week I was scanning products for planograms and creating 500 products from scratch (measuring them, writing it all down, placing them in shelves) all day long, mostly while standing up. Did I mention this was in a supermarket store that hadn't open yet, that was dirtier than a construction site and some of the guys working there smelled like they had worked in construction for 5 days, without showering, rolling in dirt, etc.
Sometimes this is too much for me and I think about just marrying a girl and applying as her lesbian wife for permanent residence.
I know is great that I got really good grades without having studied in English before, and that I got a job 2 months after graduating, and my job is in my area of expertise!
Yes, that is all really good and it sounds perfect, but when did I go to bed and wake up the next day to go to work and be a 26 year old INTERN?
Since when the more demanding task I have is taking pictures fo products and cropping them?
I don't mind the occasional stupid task, helping other people or receiving orders, but there are some moments at my work when I want to run out of the office, throw the laptop in the trash, grab some of the free food they give me there and get away.
I hate that everyone thinks they're my boss and patronize me, come one! I've been working for a couple of years now I know that I need to check my work, I know that I need to bring all my equipment and charge my laptop before and I know that tasks should be done carefully.
Last week I was scanning products for planograms and creating 500 products from scratch (measuring them, writing it all down, placing them in shelves) all day long, mostly while standing up. Did I mention this was in a supermarket store that hadn't open yet, that was dirtier than a construction site and some of the guys working there smelled like they had worked in construction for 5 days, without showering, rolling in dirt, etc.
Sometimes this is too much for me and I think about just marrying a girl and applying as her lesbian wife for permanent residence.
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