viernes, 17 de diciembre de 2010

My version of "The Secret": Get off your butt!

A lot has been said about the power of positive thinking, I believe that to be true. Believing in yourself, your character and strenght is the first step into achieving your dreams.
But I happen to believe that the only way to be truly happy is when you are on the path towards your dreams, it seems that it's easier to complain than to actually make plans and take action, but if you spend your whole life complaining, it is safe to say that you'll never achieve anything, why? you may be able to think positive for a little bit, but when your lack of actions cause NOTHING to happen, nothing improving in the path towards your dreams, you'll loose focus and determination, and finally happiness.
Being a perfectionist and slightly obsessive person, taking action gives me peace, because I know that I'm on my way and not wasting my time, I may not arrive to my destination, but I'll be fairly close.
For example: I love writing, I started with poems and then later in life, realized that I considered my sense of humour one of my biggest qualities; in order for people to like me and enjoy my company, and then be my friends, they need to understand my sense of humour and think of it as funny, interesting and entertaining and not plain mean or demeaning (this topic is so broad it will have it's own blog, stayed tuned). And I decided I should take advantage of my sense of humour and my love for writing by....writing a blog of course. Sure, I'd love to be a best selling author, quit my day job, write and write and be famous; but for now, I'm happy with people reading my blog, enjoying my sense of humour, and sharing with people that have similar interests to mine.
I am closer to my goal of being a writer, that makes me happy. When people compliment my blog, I love it! I'm using my talent. I am taking action.
The same principle applies to anything that you enjoy in life, it is never too late to start. It might be difficult to get off your butt and start working on it, but the satisfaction is totally worth it.
So GET.OFF.YOUR.BUTT, start looking for a more rewarding job, start training for a marathon, do more charity work, loose weight, gain weight, etc, etc, etc. Even if you only accomplish 10% of your goal, just walking in that road will make you happy, the road of your dream.

miércoles, 15 de diciembre de 2010

Mean girls throw stones at each other's glass houses...13 years later

I thought that after many years of being out of high school, people had to grow old and grow up, have different priorities in their life and end up laughing about the problems that happened in high school, but it seems like that doesn't really happen. Deep down, we are the same person, the same little girl that was insecure about speaking in public (not me of course!), or the same little boy who was teased for being different and avoiding fights.
I remember the day when I ended up crying and screaming to a so-called friend. I don't remember what she said to me exactly, I just remember a series of events where she wanted to make me and my best friend feel like less than we were, less than her. And I remember what I told her: you say that you're my friend, but you're nothing but a mean girl, friends don't make you feel bad and enjoy it. I bet she forgot about this fast, her life was filled with too much drama, she was the girl whose ex-boyfriend was now with her best friend after dating both of them at the same time, it is extremely important to mention that now, 13 years later after that happened, they are close friends.
Personally, I can't have friends like that; I am no saint, I criticize people; but I live by a golden rule: If I want to say something about a friend, I'll say it to her/his face, she will know that I think that the fact that she couldn't fry an egg is funny, and that she needs to write a recipe so thoroughly that she includes the way she has to hold the knife to peel a potato. If I see a person being part of the typical movie scene, when a mean girl is with her friends and sees the outcast girl and says loudly: "I love your shirt"; just to turn around to her friends and giggle saying: "That's the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, she looks like a lazy transvestite". I hate that, and I know that after you tell me that, you'll turn around and talk about my skinny legs, or that my jeans are not from a name brand.
I got to the conclusion that mean girls are always the same, after my shy friend got engaged to one of those girls' friends. To her face, they called her cute and innocent, and asked her how much in love she was (yes, stupidest question ever), and while to her face they talked to her like she was five years old, to her back they said she was stupid and boring.
The same girls that have a lot of skeletons in their closets, and are in glass houses with thin walls: one of them hasn't had a boyfriend, only friends with benefits and guys with girlfriends, the other one dated 40 year old guys in high school, another one was the town gossip girl and the rest of her "friends" made fun of her weight and her inability to keep any secrets...etc, etc.
It seems like their modus operandi is picking one of them and make fun of her, this one girl has to take this quietly, she'll have a chance to be on the other side tomorrow, when they make fun of someone new. At least they have friends that keep them company through the years, right?

martes, 7 de diciembre de 2010

"Glass half full", "glass half empty" and "my glass is half empty, cracked and filled with dirty water"

I am not the most positive person sometimes, I am indeed sarcastic, sometimes my humour is dark, and sometimes I feel the need to give me or my friends reality checks.
But I now, that in the end, everything will be alright. I think that to gain the right to complain about something more than once, you should at least be doing something about it; listening to a person complain and complain about the same thing day after day, while avoiding making a decision can be draining, and boring; how many times can you say to a person: "It'll be OK, but to get a job you need to at least apply somewhere".
It's going to be a little bit hard to meet people if you stay in your room, where your only friend is a bottle with a high percentage of alcohol; the hr department of your company of choice is not going to come knocking down your door and that needy and depressed look you have at the moment doesn't scream "sexy and available".
Life doesn't solve itself magically you know! There is a persian saying that I love: " Tie your horse and then pray that it doesn't run away".
Also after falling down, staying in the floor can be boring, and dirty...after crying, kicking and screaming, get up please! do the people around you a favour.
It is very hard to share your time and make plans to a person that likes to mop around, if you are or you try to be a positive person, this turns out to be impossible:
- You are happy when a friend is doing good, they are reminded of what they don't have: Stop talking about your boyfriend until I get one please!
- You bond over jokes, happines a hobbies, they bond over mutual tragedies: Lets get together and drink thinking about how much we miss our families and that we are poor
- If people ask how you are, you thank them and try to ask sincerilty, they take it as a personal attack: "You ask because you know they're doing bad and want to hear about it.
OK, I guess everyone has been too negative or too depressed at least once in their lives, but when I call a friend to tell them I am going to get a raise, I would like them to say: Good for you! and not: "Really? Too many good things happen to you"