viernes, 17 de diciembre de 2010

My version of "The Secret": Get off your butt!

A lot has been said about the power of positive thinking, I believe that to be true. Believing in yourself, your character and strenght is the first step into achieving your dreams.
But I happen to believe that the only way to be truly happy is when you are on the path towards your dreams, it seems that it's easier to complain than to actually make plans and take action, but if you spend your whole life complaining, it is safe to say that you'll never achieve anything, why? you may be able to think positive for a little bit, but when your lack of actions cause NOTHING to happen, nothing improving in the path towards your dreams, you'll loose focus and determination, and finally happiness.
Being a perfectionist and slightly obsessive person, taking action gives me peace, because I know that I'm on my way and not wasting my time, I may not arrive to my destination, but I'll be fairly close.
For example: I love writing, I started with poems and then later in life, realized that I considered my sense of humour one of my biggest qualities; in order for people to like me and enjoy my company, and then be my friends, they need to understand my sense of humour and think of it as funny, interesting and entertaining and not plain mean or demeaning (this topic is so broad it will have it's own blog, stayed tuned). And I decided I should take advantage of my sense of humour and my love for writing by....writing a blog of course. Sure, I'd love to be a best selling author, quit my day job, write and write and be famous; but for now, I'm happy with people reading my blog, enjoying my sense of humour, and sharing with people that have similar interests to mine.
I am closer to my goal of being a writer, that makes me happy. When people compliment my blog, I love it! I'm using my talent. I am taking action.
The same principle applies to anything that you enjoy in life, it is never too late to start. It might be difficult to get off your butt and start working on it, but the satisfaction is totally worth it.
So GET.OFF.YOUR.BUTT, start looking for a more rewarding job, start training for a marathon, do more charity work, loose weight, gain weight, etc, etc, etc. Even if you only accomplish 10% of your goal, just walking in that road will make you happy, the road of your dream.

miércoles, 15 de diciembre de 2010

Mean girls throw stones at each other's glass houses...13 years later

I thought that after many years of being out of high school, people had to grow old and grow up, have different priorities in their life and end up laughing about the problems that happened in high school, but it seems like that doesn't really happen. Deep down, we are the same person, the same little girl that was insecure about speaking in public (not me of course!), or the same little boy who was teased for being different and avoiding fights.
I remember the day when I ended up crying and screaming to a so-called friend. I don't remember what she said to me exactly, I just remember a series of events where she wanted to make me and my best friend feel like less than we were, less than her. And I remember what I told her: you say that you're my friend, but you're nothing but a mean girl, friends don't make you feel bad and enjoy it. I bet she forgot about this fast, her life was filled with too much drama, she was the girl whose ex-boyfriend was now with her best friend after dating both of them at the same time, it is extremely important to mention that now, 13 years later after that happened, they are close friends.
Personally, I can't have friends like that; I am no saint, I criticize people; but I live by a golden rule: If I want to say something about a friend, I'll say it to her/his face, she will know that I think that the fact that she couldn't fry an egg is funny, and that she needs to write a recipe so thoroughly that she includes the way she has to hold the knife to peel a potato. If I see a person being part of the typical movie scene, when a mean girl is with her friends and sees the outcast girl and says loudly: "I love your shirt"; just to turn around to her friends and giggle saying: "That's the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, she looks like a lazy transvestite". I hate that, and I know that after you tell me that, you'll turn around and talk about my skinny legs, or that my jeans are not from a name brand.
I got to the conclusion that mean girls are always the same, after my shy friend got engaged to one of those girls' friends. To her face, they called her cute and innocent, and asked her how much in love she was (yes, stupidest question ever), and while to her face they talked to her like she was five years old, to her back they said she was stupid and boring.
The same girls that have a lot of skeletons in their closets, and are in glass houses with thin walls: one of them hasn't had a boyfriend, only friends with benefits and guys with girlfriends, the other one dated 40 year old guys in high school, another one was the town gossip girl and the rest of her "friends" made fun of her weight and her inability to keep any secrets...etc, etc.
It seems like their modus operandi is picking one of them and make fun of her, this one girl has to take this quietly, she'll have a chance to be on the other side tomorrow, when they make fun of someone new. At least they have friends that keep them company through the years, right?

martes, 7 de diciembre de 2010

"Glass half full", "glass half empty" and "my glass is half empty, cracked and filled with dirty water"

I am not the most positive person sometimes, I am indeed sarcastic, sometimes my humour is dark, and sometimes I feel the need to give me or my friends reality checks.
But I now, that in the end, everything will be alright. I think that to gain the right to complain about something more than once, you should at least be doing something about it; listening to a person complain and complain about the same thing day after day, while avoiding making a decision can be draining, and boring; how many times can you say to a person: "It'll be OK, but to get a job you need to at least apply somewhere".
It's going to be a little bit hard to meet people if you stay in your room, where your only friend is a bottle with a high percentage of alcohol; the hr department of your company of choice is not going to come knocking down your door and that needy and depressed look you have at the moment doesn't scream "sexy and available".
Life doesn't solve itself magically you know! There is a persian saying that I love: " Tie your horse and then pray that it doesn't run away".
Also after falling down, staying in the floor can be boring, and dirty...after crying, kicking and screaming, get up please! do the people around you a favour.
It is very hard to share your time and make plans to a person that likes to mop around, if you are or you try to be a positive person, this turns out to be impossible:
- You are happy when a friend is doing good, they are reminded of what they don't have: Stop talking about your boyfriend until I get one please!
- You bond over jokes, happines a hobbies, they bond over mutual tragedies: Lets get together and drink thinking about how much we miss our families and that we are poor
- If people ask how you are, you thank them and try to ask sincerilty, they take it as a personal attack: "You ask because you know they're doing bad and want to hear about it.
OK, I guess everyone has been too negative or too depressed at least once in their lives, but when I call a friend to tell them I am going to get a raise, I would like them to say: Good for you! and not: "Really? Too many good things happen to you"

lunes, 15 de noviembre de 2010

If you're not interested, don't call me gorgeous

Why is dating so difficult??? I wanna know. And all the people with success stories tell you that you just have to stop thinking about it and love magically happens.
Guess what? I've had love, correction, loves. And my loves have a great opinion of me still, still care about me greatly, and I've even heard the phrase "the one who got away" in reference to me, and also the phrase "I'll always regret losing you".
OK, says "the great one who got away", where is my love that lasts a reasonable time?
And why do I seem to be meeting psycho after psycho?
The two latest guys have been crazy polar opposites, the first one was making plans a month in advance after the 1st date, saying that our date was super special, mentioning "love", and getting angry if I didn't answer this text messages. OK, that was sweet but psycho, and flattering but made me want to get a restraining order before I had him knocking ad my door at 2 a.m. being wet after walking in the rain (I live in an apartment building, he can't come knock on the door, phew!).
This other guy was incredible cute, sounded really interesting and when we talked he was smart and funny, too good to be true right? YES. After calling me gorgeous and a couple of adjectives more and begging me to add him to Facebook, he just dissapeared. Currently, I don't know where he is, he may be in the land of bipolar men where he has been made king, good for him.
I understand that only gold coins, and not people are liked by everyone (OK, spanish saying that might or might not translate right), but if you're not interested, it's easy $#%$#%^ stay away! Most of us girls are not stalkers and WILL NOT FOLLOW YOU (and I don't responsabilize myself for the ones that are) and we'll not cry after you if we met you yesterday and you don't call us anymore, you don't have to pretend to like us and propose one day to stop calling the other, we know you didn't die and that the truth is that you're crazy.
This is me, venting.

sábado, 13 de noviembre de 2010

About being one step away from being send to get coffee

I've been in Canada for a year and 2 months now, and I'm grateful for all the things I've accomplished.
I know is great that I got really good grades without having studied in English before, and that I got a job 2 months after graduating, and my job is in my area of expertise!
Yes, that is all really good and it sounds perfect, but when did I go to bed and wake up the next day to go to work and be a 26 year old INTERN?
Since when the more demanding task I have is taking pictures fo products and cropping them?
I don't mind the occasional stupid task, helping other people or receiving orders, but there are some moments at my work when I want to run out of the office, throw the laptop in the trash, grab some of the free food they give me there and get away.
I hate that everyone thinks they're my boss and patronize me, come one! I've been working for a couple of years now I know that I need to check my work, I know that I need to bring all my equipment and charge my laptop before and I know that tasks should be done carefully.
Last week I was scanning products for planograms and creating 500 products from scratch (measuring them, writing it all down, placing them in shelves) all day long, mostly while standing up. Did I mention this was in a supermarket store that hadn't open yet, that was dirtier than a construction site and some of the guys working there smelled like they had worked in construction for 5 days, without showering, rolling in dirt, etc.
Sometimes this is too much for me and I think about just marrying a girl and applying as her lesbian wife for permanent residence.

sábado, 18 de septiembre de 2010

Bipolarity as a lifestyle or the famous 180

Wikipedia says: Bipolar disorder or manic-depressive disorder, which is also referred to as bipolar affective disorder or manic depression, is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated energy levels, cognition, and mood with or without one or more depressive episodes.

My own concept of bipolar desorder or bipolarity is a person that seems nice, you can even talk to him/her and hang out for a little bit and create an opinion about them being normal and nice human beings, until (wait for it!) the craziness surfaces in a way both dramatic and shocking that leaves you wondering for weeks if it was your imagination, (did you imagine the before or the after?).

Both woman and man seem to be embracing bipolarity as a lifestyle and get so into it that after the bad side appears and they behave "normally" again, they act like nothing happened and even ask you why you're acting so weird towards them (hhmm disrespecting me in the worst way a week ago might be the reason don't you think)

I will refer to two specific bipolarity episodes that happened recently, one to me and one to a close friend:

- "The girl that helped and rescue me to then insult me and make a list of all the things that are "wrong" with me": She helped me when I needed it, she invited me to her house, she was really nice. Until BAM! he screamed at me in public and then said I was crazy for feeling bad about it and BAM! she said various insults (one of them including the word "abortion", said I was insecure for not laughing about nasty comments in public and made a list of all the things I needed to improve, to finally act surprised when I deleted her from friends lists. Talk about Jenkyll and Mrs. Psycho.

- "The guy that said he was having a great time in 3 dates with my friend to then procede to break up dramatically, 3 times in a row through different social media or chat sites": He said he had a great time with herr, she went on a short vacation, on her way back she receives and essay listing the problems not only in his life, but in his friends' lives and a list of modified break-up lines like: "I want to make sure you know it has nothing to do with you, I have a lot of problems right now (it's not you, it's me)", "You're rad, you're a great girl, I want you to know that I still want to hang out (we can still be friends)".

After this 2 really good examples, I wonder: Are they really doing this things without noticing? Are they in denial? Is it really that they think that they're OK and the rest of the world is crazy?

miércoles, 28 de julio de 2010

If you don't know me why do you want to add me? and other Facebook conflicts

Facebook is really big right now, amazingly big, can't live without big. My mom has Facebook even tough she thought that only the owner could see their own wall and the comments on pictures, she couldn't upload pictures or do pretty much, anything there.
I always thought it was uncomfortable when some that you don't know so much, or someone that you don't want to give access too (a boss for example) tried to add you and you couldn't ignore them. I didn't want the guy that I met just once to look at all my pictures and see my posts! But you had to add them right? Just in case you ran into them again. Well yes, but now Facebook new privacy settings allow you to choose how much you're sharing with people, this has caused a lot of conflicts in addition to the ones that were there from the beginning:
- You don't know me, I've never seen you and you look creepy in your profile picture, why do you want to add me?: There is actually guys that "collect" girls in facebook that they think are pretty, if a girl falls for that she's definitely far from being classy; there is also the person that assumes he knows everyone but maybe doesn't remember; and there is the person that wants to feel important and have a profile saying XXXXX has 1000 friends. Good for you! everyone on the planet knows about your life and sees your pictures, kidnappers won't have it hard finding you.
Don't get me wrong, I know of people that have met friends or boyfriends on FB but in that case, please people send a private message aknowledging the fact that you don't know them but want to meet them. A week ago a guy that I'm sure I don't know, and looked really weird on his picture wanted to add me, why would I?. I don't want to see posts about what's his face and his plans for saturday night, or even worse, him having my pictures as a wallpaper (photoshoped with his face in it.) If you try to add me like that, you're not making your self look better (eheem stalker ehemmm)
- How much privacy is too much: I was a victim of privacy settings, I didn't realize that if a person couldn't see a wall or pictures, they were seeing pretty much, well, nothing! a couple of them deleted me and other ones send me private messages asking why or knew that it was a mistake and letting me know. I have a friend that was sick of Facebook and decided to set everything as private, a lot of people will delete her for sure thinking that she blocked them.
- There is also the overly friendly person, that you don't know much, but may or may not have one friend in addition to you, that loves to creep and comment on everything you do. do you delete that person, or just block them from writing or seeing your things?
- Parents on Facebook: So many parents are on Facebook, that their friends ask them to open an account "to share with them", thanks people! I didn't want to share some pictures (nothing illegal!) with my mom. Before this privacy settings, I just ignored requests from anyone older than 40, now I can just set everything on private and hope for the best.
- TMI: The best type of TMI is relationship TMI. Believe me if I don't like drama in my own life, I don't want to relive every moment of your tormentous, latin soap-opera like relationship with your on-and-off boyfriend. What are relationship status for on Facebook? Don't your closest friends know if you have a boyfriend or not? And even worse I don't want to know that you had a fight, he cheated on you, that you think all men suck and should die because someone has made you suffer again.
And there is the emo people too, come on! if you have depression, life doesn't make sense and want to die, I don't think Facebook is the right answer, therapy might be right for you. People won't believe that you're really depressed (just really desperate for attention), there was one guy who even wrote: I'm depressed, please call me. I think that instead of calls, people deleted his number from their phones- a lot of them.
Well, the privacy issue is complicated, I have a rule, I ask myself if I would say that comment in a conversation with anyone on my list, if the answer is "no", I'd keep it to myself. It is better to be safe, maybe I did add a creepy unknown guy without noticing him, and I'll never talk to him when I see him but he'll know by heart all the colors I own bikinis in.

miércoles, 21 de julio de 2010

The Twilight Syndrome

Lately, I've seen many friends (fans or not fans of Twilight) to fall victims of the Twilight syndrome or thinking that the best type of love is extra-dramatic and has to be difficult to overcome such difficulties.
I'm a fan of stable relationships, no roller coaster rides, trust above all and a normal level of commitment and need to see each other. Sure, guys that are too good are boring, a little bit of and edge is good, but edge does not equal having to send a private eye to follow him, to verify he's not cheating on you for the 1000 time when he said he went to buy some tomatoes at the grocery store.
I believe in a point system, a person should win points by being good to you, those points should be the base for trust and feelings. I need to fall more and more in love with time and build trust from scratch not from a negative qualification in my points system.
I can be corny sometimes, I write love letters and poems, but all of them to people that deserve it and make me happy at the time; not because I am on top of the roller coaster ride that day or they stopped behaving bad like other days.
To give my opinion about Twilight, I have to clarify that I have read the books, first I was curious and after I wanted to see if she became a vampire or not lol (it's true!)
I didn't like the books, but I am not discussing if they were well written or not, or if the story line was good, is that lady's idea of romance what I discuss.
Apparently Edward Cullen is romantic, a vampire that did nothing but mess with Bella's regular and normal life, that behaved weird and was a little bit emo, on top of things he sparkles. This teenager relationship resulted in a break-up that sent her to a psycho trip in which she heard voices, saw faces and jumped off cliffs.
Jacob was the normal one, the more stable one, the one that was funny and happy all the time, that made her happy and think about other things that didn't include suicide methods 101.
So now the guy that doesn't want you at first, the one that cheats, lies, treats you like trash; but starts wanting you and behaving better is more valuable than a good guy? I don't think so!
Because people rarely change and they'll most probably go back to their bad ways again, and the rollercoaster ride starts again! Because he know you'll take his emo-lying-cheating butt back.

lunes, 19 de julio de 2010

Glorious Moments in Ontario's Public Transit

I've had laughs and I've wanted to throw up many times in Ontario's public transportation (either from bad smells, or lousy bus drivers that break like seeing people being thrown to the floor is their hobby), some bus drivers are not good for their jobs and often not very nice to people, but know the stories will focus on fellow public transit users.

- Guy that throws indian food: today, the guy that inspired me to write this blog was sitting in the seat perpendicular to mine, we both had an empty seat next to us, but he decided it was convenient to loudly and violently place a giant bag with food in my seat, the smell of curry and the noise startled me, even when I was busy reading my funny book and listening to a Kesha song on my Ipod (yes, I like a few of her songs, but I don't think she is a singer but an entertainer). Well, I gave him a wondering look that he choose to ignore and he let the plates next to me for the next 15 minutes until he got off the bus.

- Guy that fell sleep sitting and his head fell on his lap and got the bus dirty: OK, this one is unbelievable but true, I got on the bus and no one was sitting on a 2 meters radio of this guy, he looked druged-stoned-high-depressed-lacking sleep, and a couple more conditions of that type. He was sleeping, but not reclined to the window like a semi-normal person, he was bended and sleeping almost reclined in his own lap, next to him, a news paper. I looked at the floor and I saw a suspicious liquid spilled all over the bus, no, it was not yellow (thank God!) it was brown, I noticed a Tim Horton's iced cap on the side of the newspaper and I got it.

- Woman with colorful tennis shoes in the air and screaming on the phone: OK, sadly, this is not uncommon on my commute from Bram-town, but this woman was specially annoying. She was wearing very bright clothes, including some tennis shoes that I saw up close (sadly), she was sitting right behind me and decided that her seat was not big enough for her legs and/or wanted to show people her amazing shoes to make them envy her. She was having a screaming fight with what sounded like her ex-husband or ex-boyfriend and was dating some "whore" now (sight!) I shouldn't know that.

- Couple fighting and reconciling in a 20 min subway ride: I was very happy, coming back from a good date on the subway from Downtown TO, while I was smiling I noticed a couple fighting in spanish (I just heard a couple of words, they were at least somewhat discrete). The fight went a little bit like this:
Union: Him trying to grab her hand, her pushing him (and his hand) apart
Queen: She started to cry and what I think it was talking about how bad he behaved
Dundas: He managed to grab her hand and whispering to her ear that he'll never do it again (well, I guess), she continued to cry
Bloor: He made her hug him until she well- did hug him
This kind of soap opera is not rare, yesterday I witnessed an indian couple doing the same, and always the girl cries and tries to "ignore him" and ends up forgiving him.
I wonder, if they did something THAT BAD why did they go on the subway with him, obviously they were going to forgive him. Why don't they end up the fight where it started instead of grating us with a free soap-opera? Are they fight-exhibitionists and enjoy people watching? Is it foreplay? Will they sell tapes of their fights? Will those tapes be easier than watching my colombian soap operas in Megavideo? just asking...

- Drunk Girl pole dancing /little asian girl pole dancing: When the latin couple ended their fight, the entertainment continued with the drunk girl that decided pole dancing in front of her friends was funny (yes, it was funny. yes, I laughed), she had serious skills! she grinded the pole like a pro (not that I know much about the topic asides from a couple of rap videos I have stumbled upon)

To be continued... (until I have a car and can use it in a month)

jueves, 28 de enero de 2010

Me and the snow

Things I learned today:
You can go to bed innocently thinking: how much snow can it fall during one night if there isn't any today? and wake up to see a pile of snow as big as you in your front door.
Snow storms are fun...when you're indoors
Snow can be classified into: fluffy = cool, dirty = not cool
Snow is slippery(te puedes dar en la madre)
There are magic sprays for boots that some locals don't know
You can go from: heeeyy i love snow, to: i want to go back to my country in less than 8 hours
Some people interpret: You don't have to wear snow boots every day of winter as: you can wear tennis shoes (chucks)
when you are trumatized by snow, you get very supportive comments like: wait, it'll get worse
It is impossible to open ziploc bags with gloves
During winter, a car increases the number of friends you have
There are divided opinions about which one is better: snow with rain (melted with ponds everywhere) and hard snow (big piles of it)
People that still live in tropical countries think that the snow is just a little bit cold, and that it sounds nice. And then proceed to tag pictures of you in the beach.

About liking to "fix" bad boys

There's is something about liking a bad boy, and him liking you. Something that has to do with the fact of being "good enough" to make him notice you and optimistically to make him settle.
If you find yourself trying to defend this guy to your friends, you understand me.
Let me clarify, he's not someone that treats you badly and/or cheats on you, it is the boy with bad reputation or with a troubled past that treats you right (most of the time), that confides in you.
Is this troubled soul that tells you they like you so much, and the next day tells you that they feel trapped in a relationship.
You see this good side when he talks to you and have a connection, and sometimes wonder why everyone talks so badly about him.
Well...been there...done that. And the conclusion is that when everyone says one thing they may be right.
Figuring out this complicated kind of men is not worth it most of the time, specially when they work to be very difficult to figure out, when they come close and then run away when they get scared, it is definitely a loose- loose situation.
Well, I've had a good experience with the bad boy that had a bad reputation of hanging out with too many girls, but having no girlfriend. I had him as a boyfriend for 3 happy years, why? because he wanted to settle down and he may have dated a lot of girls moving fast from one to the other, but wasn't a liar or a cheater.
So I guess it doesn't depend on the reputation, but on knowing the person and definitely on listening what they say.